oh Silly me

oops. with all the fuck ups with my computer, i started a new blog.
i forgot my username and password, having left it all for my browser password manager to handle.

lo and behold, i remembered.

oh well, i'm moving on still. see you there.

http://poeticjusticeforall.blogspot.com/

so there we go.

Superman Returns

for those who watched, i'd love dearly to get hold of the real money shot from Jimmy Olsen's camera of the man of steel holding up the globe.

























while i can understand why so many find the movie boring despite me being amongst the few who tilted over to the positive side, you have to have to agree that Brandon Routh rescued the whole show as an actor this time. when you are saving the world or just a few, or having your heart broken or melted, or steeling your resolve, and you need to strike a classic hero's look and pose, the depths of cheesiness call out to you and threaten to suck you in like doughnut at the mouth of a blackhole.

he did it well. convincingly and boy, even i swooned.

Christopher Reeves (god bless his soul) will be turning in his grave, smiling and soaring in pride at this well-deserved tribute he received. props to Singer and Routh for remembering.

Sundays with Huo Yuanjia

some may have heard me mention, or lament, the lack of anything with semblance to a mentor system here in this country where you have someone worthy to look up to, to confide in and to trust and to learn from, a pillar to whom you can cling onto when the boat is rocked or the MRT train switches tracks.

i've always wished i had one. it was never my father. and can never be. my best teachers were female, except for ONE single guy in pri school, Mr Joseph Wee, god bless his soul. he's passed on already from illness eons ago but boy, that man had character AND style in the buckets.

and now i've reached an age, where exacerbated by the social circumstances of this island state, where it's even more ludicrous and impossible to find a person to look up and where it's time you stood up on your own two feet. throw in the fact i've never SEEMED like someone who needs a mentor, and it's up shit's creek for that particular idea.

so now i'm left to peek and grovel and scramble for any recourse or handholds to guide me. it's not exactly what i could find but i've been given a kick up my ass last night by two sources of influence which came together in a potent mix of serendipitous colluision, to get me out of my funk.

Jet Li's Fearless and a coincidental immediate read of my brother's copy of Tuesdays with Morrie which i had read a long way back. both broke me and though they might not be a lasting mentoring effect, they have served to remind of some other things in life that are really important or at least may be of more worth in a way that resonates without much analysis being done.

compassion.
life is unfair.
being a gentleman.
battling with oneself is the toughest fight.
existential angst.
we may be broken, but we are meant to stand up still.
love and regret don't mix.
take time to affirm all those around you.
take the time to talk.

it's been a daily struggle for me lately again and i will continue to ponder it all. to figure out what is next for me in life, and who i am again. if i am going to get better with life, i better start learning faster with some grim determination.

Singing the Same Song all over again

it's been dreadfully long but usually when i have a lot of good thoughts and ideas, i find that if i try and remember them and blog them, they lose their lustre. so either i'll blog either when i'm really bored or really upset. see, i just forgot one again.

then again, once i get shifted overseas, i'll probably do this more, out of loneliness.

when i displayed my puzzlement towards my 3 friends as to why they would describe me as intense, they stared at me as though i was insane. apparently, i am intense. this trait arose not too long ago, to my detriment but realized relief, when i had a crush on this girl and she declined, via the mouth of a very good friend, that i was too intimidating (or was it too intellectually intimidating?). intense, intimidating, potaytoh, pohtahtoe.

i've decided i quite like who i am right now. in my judgment, i am also one of those people who will get only much better with age. less crazy, more mellowed, more calm, more aware.

sometimes when the waves recede, the sight of the empty beach is painfully beautiful.

jeez, i don't know. there're a lot of things that i would like to talk to people about, what i'm doing. if they're interesting enough, i'd talk to you about it, it'll naturally spring up in conversation. why the hell would i hoist those descriptive activities on you here?

bah, i'm just horribly upset now, wavering between stoic determination and plummets of despair.

whatever.

Fuck

i'd like to scream but that's impossible here and i'm not about to turn to my brother who needs to study for his exams or whatever. this is my last avenue to vent and blow off some heat.

ironically, i was dispensing with some advice about growing into adulthood earlier. now i'm confronted with that. it's about the tough choices, it's about the things you really really want now and which really really matter, but which do not always coincide happily with each other and something must give.

it's about hardening the heart and hurtling on, gritting the teeth and hoping for the best, despite wishing the best would happen already now within your reach. it's always about taking the hard way out because that's living, and that's how you want to take your final bow.

by the way, if I pass the SIA training programme, come next May onwards, I will not be home for 8 years possibly, minimum 4 years. it's called getting your cake but choking on it.

fuck this life already. i hate it but i've gotta love it.

fuck.

Rescue Me

this won't take long. Rescue Me Season 3 is absolutely driving me wild. first 2 episodes and i'm dying for the 3rd. it wasn't this way with 24 and Lost. this is serious.

1st episode: Tommy Gavin resuscitates a dead girl he pulled from a fire. he doesn't relent, despite the looks from the other firefighters. when all else is collapsing around, the girl revives, vindicating him.

2nd episode: he beats the daylights out of his brother for dating his ex-wife (it's more complicated than that). i felt his satisfaction. there're rules about that, and Tommy enforces it.

that's it.

Update June

it's been a while. at this rate, this blog is purely to update you guys and hopefully entertain on the side. entertainment and sharing has ceased to be a major movement in this particular area of the world wide web.

so what have i been up to since 3 well weeks ago?

i'm back to temping at the Science Centre, under Ryan for those who know him. it's much more fun this time because i'm more comfortable and familiar, and there's a Malay-chinese hybrid fella next door who's quite on the same wavelength. we play football every Wednesday with the fellas from the British High Commission at SP. those angmohs are pretty passionate (it's amazingly obvious) but not terribly good either. they all think they are Steven bloody Gerrard, end up shoot like Zulkifli Kartoyoho.

I'm helping out at uberture again as well. www.uberture.com for the ignorant. i'm their editor and part time contributor. look out for my articles in June. helped helmed a Health Promotion Board project for uberture at Orchard on Saturday - World No Tobacco Day. it was pretty amazing though how festive the streets were, courtesy of the GSS, the tonnes of flyers, gimmicks, tents, music, entertainers, hot-looking girls, ugly-looking men. While the cool people (by cool i mean posers) blatantly ignored the offering hand of our own people, the more humble people accepted our badges, bookmarks and zocards. Mind you, a lot of young people were terribly receptive to those stuff. By young people, I include the age group of 2-10. heh. look out for coverage of it on CNA or something, we had some pretty nifty mascot costumes (one of which was donned by my old FWOCer).

my camera's been terribly unused. not much occasion to use it. today, me and Chin launched ourselves at the Longhouse at Thomson (featured in Makan Places).

the job: create a shot for a possible poster for SGH Transplant Unit.
requisite: cluttered after-meal mess, a lot of delicious food paid for by Chin, our stomachs, and 1 x Nikon D70.
result: success for us, dismay for the dishes

SERENITY















CARNAGE















if the poster ever comes out, well, you'll see what we were actually doing. if not, it's kept in confidentiality.

i've been keeping up with the Japanese lessons. learning more and more, getting tougher and tougher. i'm enhancing the learning process by downloading podcasts from www.japanesepod101.com It's pretty easy for anyone too. Very user friendly.

been playing footie with the Brits, the KR male alumni (sunday fortnightly at the cage www.thecage.com.sg where we become footballing gods for an evening - brilliant lads), my Josephian alumni (we triumped against RI Old Boys Under 40s 2-0 at the Ortega Cup), and soon, my Bandung team outside. i'm well and truly prepared for the World Cup.
by the way, a fight broke out at the game at SJI today. a teammate kicked out at this bruiser from the other, he got a good thump in the nose (blood and all), my good friend raced over. i thought he was really on the ball (no pun intended) to get the fight separated. little did I know he was racing to be the first to retaliate and that he did, swinging one at the bruiser, missing, losing his dignity, and vainly attempting to get one successful blow as the rest of us stepped in. we played the rest of the game 8 men vs 10. we won 4-2. my defence-splitting pass cleaving the entire defence to shatter their confidence at 3-2. told you i was prepared for the World Cup.

what else?

i've done another session of the stock photography. i know i promised more shots but there's far too many to put up. this time around it was paid. a neat $200. that led to me being hired to do an MTV Asia promo for Coldplay. try not to see it, it's horribly embarassing. at least the $200 from that gig helped foot the bill for the Coldplay concert on July 10! woohoo! are you going to be there?

since i'm there, i've been tasked to help my good friends' wedding this Saturday. i've known them since my council days; he was my best friend and the man who chased after 2 of my major crushes in JC, she was my crush who rejected me and was chased by my best friend. they're each other's first and that's 8 years in the making, dear friends. now i'm their MC and programme IC. first mistake they''ll be making as a couple, i guess. muaharharharharharhar!

i organisd a bachelor's party for him: a real kinda party. it was a failure. sorry I can't divulge what happened to protect the groom's privacy. what happens with the boys stays with the boys. but if you ask me in private in person.......but tell you what, we managed to scramble the fun together by proceeding to Bar None at Marriot's. Now that's what I call a bloody good time. Jive Talking (with Doug O looking smashing) , cool club, more mature crowd, lots of booze. ah, it was stupendous. beats Wala-Wala anytime.

I guess that's about it. on the job front, I have my final interview with SIA on thursday. this is what two month's of waiting boils down to. it's make or break because no one else has contacted me for an interview. i suspect it may be the format of my resume. oh well.

oh i get free entry into the Dinosaur exhibit at the Science Centre. it's pretty neat actually (the sole real deal dino in there at least, the T-Rex named Sue), it's well worth the price to come face to face with the dinosaur.







































































P.S. it's been far too long since i watched a movie on the big screen too.